The Connection Between Self-Care and Love Readings
4–6 minutes
The other day, I listened to another tarot reader express their disdain for love readings. They were fed up with doing that work for clients they believed had “chosen poorly.” The drama that can often accompany love readings can be draining, so I understood their position. However, I felt it was a missed opportunity to explore other areas within their clients’ lives to uncover why romantic love evades them or why such obstacles occur within their relationships.
While I read for everything, my practice is centered on clarity and personal empowerment, so love readings begin with examining how one loves themselves.
Soleil
As a child, my father often said that love begins with the person in the mirror. That is no less true as an adult. I believe that the way in which one shows up for themselves is a direct communication to the universe regarding the love or lifestyle they will accept. When we choose to honor our bodies, treat ourselves with kindness, and give ourselves emotional and physical space and security with consistency, we are declaring “This is our baseline. This is our foundation. This is what is acceptable, and this is what we are comfortable with attracting.” This does not mean that we will never attract the things that are not in alignment with us, but a sturdy foundation is what allows you to easily recognize and refuse things that are not meant to be in or around your energy.
When a person feels their love life isn’t right, I encourage them to examine the other areas of their life to uncover why romantic love is out of balance. Are they showing up for themselves in secure and healthy ways? Are their platonic relationships mirroring their romantic partnerships in any way? Are their financial matters reflecting those same patterns? That last question may have you scratching your head in confusion, but since matters of love are Venusian in essence, love and money stories are interconnected. I tell my clients all the time that to say, “I’m not open to love” is to say, “I’m not open to money”. If you reject one, you reject both. If you overextend emotionally in love, you may overextend financially to compensate in love as well. Conversely, if you undercompensate in finance, you may undercompensate in romance. Maintaining equitable balance romantically and financially help to ensure you are showing up appropriately to honor yourself, your partner, and the value of your connection.
No one else can heal or balance your chakras. They can access that energy to explain where imbalances are present, but you must sit and consciously do that work independently.
These themes of security in surroundings, self, and sexual energy are also connected to the three lower chakras. When either the Muladhara (Root), Svadhisthana (Sacral), or Manipura (Solar Plexus) chakras are out of alignment, they manifest in negative ways like overcompensation, incompetence/impotence, or low self-esteem. The sacral chakra, in particular, is connected to creativity, money, and sex. When a person has wounds around financial or sexual instability, assaults, addictions, or cannot connect to their creative energy, this chakra is what is in need of attention.
Neither the act of love nor love readings are entirely centered on the Anahata (Heart) chakra. So, your readings should consider the whole person, their many facets, and how those influence their state of mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Still, it is important to establish if one’s heart is open to exchanging that divine love with others. Love, whether it is platonic, romantic or otherwise, is a manifestation of the universal divine love that is unconditional. It is connected to the understanding that one is always worthy of love, but it requires understanding and acceptance that the love is unconditional, but the access is not.
For example, choosing to respond to yourself with compassion after you have a difficult day is one way of showing yourself unconditional love. In that moment, you have not attached love to performance or perfection and have accepted yourself without boundaries. This can inform how you show up for and accept others in your life. It does not mean your love exists without healthy correction. It indicates that your love exists with understanding.
By assessing the quality and condition of one’s foundation, the reader gains an understanding of how and where they can offer assistance and the client gains an understanding of how and where they need to develop their spiritual muscles. By supporting a client’s journey of self-discovery, readers support their journey to attracting healthy romantic love. This does not mean that the love they desire is inaccessible to them where they arrive or that they must “come healed” to a partnership. In fact, you want the dynamism of someone who is willing meet you where you are to grow and adapt with you.
During your collective and individual journeys to healthy connection of any and all forms, I encourage you to speak kindly to and about yourselves. So often within the spiritual community you’ll hear the phrase “Words are spells.” Thoughts are, too! The way you speak to and about yourself matters and influences what you’re attempting to attract. Your behaviors and the safety you create within yourself influences that as well. I invite other readers to challenge themselves by speaking positively to attract the clients they enjoy helping and I invite clients to speak positively about themselves as they continue on their respective paths to self-improvement.
